Risking it All: An M/M, rockstar, second chance romance (Kingston Brothers Book 4) Read online

Sky gives me a look then takes a drink. “And Carlos over here is in love with his high school sweetheart.”

  “Did you love her when you were screwing those chicks the other night?” Jay asks.

  “Hey, she knows I have needs. She’s doing her, and I’m doing me. We’ll be together again.”

  “Yeah, sounds like a good plan,” I deadpan. Sky almost spits out his drink when he laughs.

  “Look, neither of us is stupid enough to think that we’ll be faithful to each other during this time. We’re in love, but we’re young, man. We don’t talk about the shit we’re doing, but we stay in touch. When we’re ready to settle down, and when we can buy a house together and figure out our lives, we’ll do it. Until then. . .” he shrugs, leaving the sentence hanging.

  Sky tilts his head side to side. “I kinda get it.”

  Carlos goes back to the PlayStation game he’s playing, but aims his next words at me. “And you? You’re cool being Sky’s wingman forever? You don’t have anyone back home? Or haven’t met anyone on the road?”

  Sky comes over to me and wraps his arm around my neck, tugging me into his side. “Come on, man. Don’t put ideas in his head. Me and Merrick are like two peas in a pod. Like you said, we’re young. Why do we need to rush into settling down?”

  “Now that I think about it, are we young?” Jay questions. “We’re between twenty-six and twenty-eight. Aren’t chicks ready to be having babies around thirty?”

  “So, we’ll find younger women. I can be in my forties and find a twenty-five year old wife,” Sky says. “People in Hollywood do it all the time. It’s not even weird at this point.”

  “True,” Jay agrees.

  Carlos’ phone vibrates and he glances at the screen, then pauses his game and picks it up. “Oh shit. Y’all remember Lexie Iovanni?”

  My body tenses up. She was best friends with Ali several years back, so when I think of her, I think of him. “Yeah, what’s up? Is she okay?”

  “Yeah, she’s getting married. My sister just texted me. I guess she’s gonna be a bridesmaid.”

  “Who’s she marrying?” Sky asks.

  “Leo Michaelson.”

  “The pothead?” Me and Jay ask at the same time.

  “Yeah, I guess he’s a lawyer now.”

  “Wow, people do change after high school,” Jay says. “I used to buy weed from him all the time.”

  “Me too,” I say, remembering all the nights me and Ali would meet up with Leo to score some pot, then sneak off and smoke it while Elijah was gone.

  Carlos keeps reading his texts aloud. “I guess Alejandro is gonna be a groomsman.” He looks up at me. “Do you still talk to him? Y’all were close, right?”

  “Uh, yeah. We were close. I haven’t talked to him in years, though.”

  “I heard he’s gay now,” Jay says, effectively ripping the breath from my body.

  “Well, he probably always was,” Carlos adds. “We just didn’t know.”

  My eyes flick to each of the guys, waiting to see if they say something homophobic, internally pleading for them not to be assholes about this.

  “Do you think he knew back then?” Jay questions.

  “When did you know you were straight?” I ask, blurting the words. “It’s not like there’s a specific day when everyone decides who they’re gonna be attracted to. You are who you are.” I realize I sound defensive, so I take it down a notch. “I’m sure he knew, but it doesn’t mean he had to tell anyone.”

  The room’s quiet for a few, and I wonder if I just gave myself away. Fuck.

  “I know, man. I’m not trying to be mean about it. Y’all were close, though. He never told you?”

  Sky saves me from answering by exhaling dramatically. “Why do we care? He’s gay, I’m not, you’re in love with a groupie, Carlos is cheating on his future wife, and Merrick. . .well, Merrick does whatever he wants.”

  I try not to sit and think too much about Merrick does whatever he wants. It’s not the statement in itself, but the brief look he gives me when he said it. He can’t possibly know, though. So, I leave it alone and walk to the bar to get a drink while they start talking about something else.

  I think back to the night when me and Ali finally decided to talk about that first kiss and what it meant.

  6

  Merrick

  9 ½ Years Ago

  I can’t stop pacing back and forth in front of the door, waiting for Ali to show up. We kissed nearly six months ago, and we’ve yet to talk about it. Not once. It’s driving me crazy.

  For the first month after that amazing moment, I didn’t see Ali at all. He went home and his mom smelt the weed on him and grounded him for four long weeks. He was able to sneak a text to me to let me know what happened before his mom took his phone.

  So the first month of summer was spent with the band, and surprisingly, Elijah didn’t punish me for the weed and alcohol. It wasn’t the first time he’d caught me, but I’d been grounded before. He also took my phone once, and worst of all, the ability to practice with the guys. I expected something like that to happen again, but he never brought it up.

  He would tell me to go pick up the dog shit from the backyard, but that was just a normal chore, as well as laundry and general cleaning around the house.

  When Ali was finally able to come hang out, we had already gone thirty long days without talking about the kiss, and it felt weird to bring it up after so much time had passed. I felt like we both decided to blame what happened on being drunk or high, and pretended it didn’t happen at all. Things went back to normal. Sort of.

  He’s caught me staring at him, and I’ve caught him doing the same. We both try to quickly cover it up by looking away or acting like we were zoned out. So stupid.

  We’ve been to the pool quite a bit, since that’s where a lot of our friends go on the really hot days. And seeing each other half naked and wet isn’t really helping with trying to keep things normal.

  Ali’s always been athletic, so he’s got some muscle tone to his body. My eyes always seem to track the water droplets that cling to his tanned skin, and follow the rivulets of water that run from his chest to the waistband of his trunks. He’s caught me a few times.

  But it’s not like I’m the only one. Sometimes he looks at me like I’m an ice cream and his sweet tooth has him ready to devour me. Ali wants to do just as much as I do, but we don’t know how to bring it up.

  So after months of ignoring what we really want, an opportunity is given to us. I just turned seventeen, so I’ve convinced Elijah it’s okay to leave me at home when he goes out of town with his girlfriend. He doesn’t do it often, because he’s really committed to being here with me and making sure I’m okay. But him and Jenn have been fighting a lot, and I think he’s ready to give in and take an overnight trip with her.

  He’s already called both Cillian and Royce and told them to drop in and check on me. Like I need two babysitters. I kept my eyerolls and smart remarks in check, because I didn’t want to do anything to have him change his mind.

  Royce has already called and Cillian dropped by to bring me some food and hang out for a bit. Once he left, I knew I had the house to myself for the rest of the night, so I invited Ali over.

  I sent him the text thirty minutes ago, and he only lives a block away, so I don’t know what’s taking him so long.

  When the knock finally arrives, I snatch open the door, not thinking at all about playing it cool. Now he knows I was waiting nearby. Great.

  “Sorry. My mom needed me to help re-organize the pantry.” He rolls his eyes as he steps in. “I swear she just comes up with the most random stuff for me to do when I ask her for something.”

  I chuckle and close the door. “It’s fine.”

  “So, Elijah’s gone, huh?” he questions, sticking his hands in his back pockets.

  “Yep. He didn’t go far, but Jenn wanted a night alone. Pretty sure she hates me, but whatever.”

  “No offense, but Jenn’s a bitch. I don’t
know why Elijah puts up with her shit.”

  I shrug and walk to the den. “Who knows? Want a drink? Elijah has all kinds of shit in here.”

  “Sure. I got a joint from Leo, too.”

  Neither of us acknowledge that it seems like we’re trying to recreate that night. Maybe having a little drink and a smoke will loosen us up enough to talk about it. Or do more.

  “As long as we smoke that shit outside.”

  “Yeah, of course. It’s fucking cold out there, though.”

  Neither one of us knows anything about hard liquor, and I’m not even gonna pretend I can drink that shit straight like Elijah does. So I pour some vodka in a glass and top it off with orange juice.

  “Screwdriver?” he asks with a chuckle.

  “Dude. I don’t know.”

  “I’m just fuckin’ with ya.”

  After he takes his glass, I pour one for myself, then we go to the living room and put on the TV.

  I sit on the couch and Ali takes the loveseat.

  “Oh man, so when I went to Leo’s, guess who I saw there?”

  “Who?”

  “Lexie!” he exclaims, his eyes growing wide. “Before you texted me, I talked to her and asked if she wanted to go to Kyle’s party. She said she had family visiting for the Christmas holiday and needed to stay home.”

  “Oop. Busted,” I say with a laugh.

  “I can’t believe she’s hooking up with Leo. Leo!”

  I shake my head with a smile on my face. “You like who you like. I never thought Miss Preppy Pants would go for a pothead like Leo, though.”

  He laughs. “I guess you never know.”

  “Nope.” I take a drink. “So, you got a crush on Lex, or what?” I ask, hoping my voice sounds playful and not jealous.

  Ali whips his head in my direction. “What? No! I love Lexie, but we’re just friends.”

  “You don’t want to go to Kyle’s party?”

  “Well, I don’t know if it’s really a party, but he invited me over and said a few people were gonna be there.”

  “Oh. You didn’t have to change your plans.”

  He gives me a look. “Like I can say no to you.”

  My pulse speeds up as I continue to look at him. Color fills his cheeks before he turns away and gulps down half his drink.

  “Um. You want more?” I ask.

  He finishes what’s left in the glass. “No, it’s okay. I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick.”

  “Okay, I’m gonna go to my room and grab my lighter, then we can go out back and smoke.”

  As Ali heads to the bathroom, I rush up the stairs and start looking for the lighter. I was sure I hid it in my sock drawer, but Elijah’s taken a couple of them, hoping that’ll keep me from smoking, so maybe he found my latest one.

  I rifle through the rest of the drawers, but don’t find it.

  “Fuckin’ Elijah.”

  “What’s up?” Ali asks, appearing at my door.

  “I think Elijah swiped my lighter. I can’t find it.”

  Ali comes in and helps look through my drawers again. His arm rubs against mine, causing me to freeze momentarily before I continue to push my boxers around. I’m no longer worried about finding the lighter. My concentration is on the proximity of me and my best friend.

  “Yeah, I think he got it, man,” Ali says.

  I sigh, facing Ali and linking my fingers together on top of my head. “That sucks.”

  Ali’s eyes move from my lips to my biceps. His mouth quirks up on one side. “We can drink some more.”

  “Yeah,” I breathe, dropping my arms. “Or. . .” I leave the word hanging between us as I decide to throw caution to the wind. “We could talk about what happened between us.”

  He sucks in a deep breath. “Oh.” After a few seconds, he says, “I mean, we were high, right?”

  I take a step closer. “I’ve been high with a few people and never kissed them before.”

  Ali swallows. “Yeah.”

  “I don’t regret it.”

  He shakes his head slightly. “Me either.”

  I place my hand on his hip, pulling a gasp from his throat. “I wanna do it again.”

  “Me too,” he whispers, licking his lips.

  With my left hand already on his hip, I put my right hand on the side of his face, gently cradling his cheek as I tilt his head up and press my lips against his.

  Just like before, his lips are soft and warm against mine. Ali opens his mouth and teasingly touches my lip with his tongue. I groan and grasp his face with both hands as I allow my tongue to explore his wet mouth.

  He tastes like orange juice and vodka, and I’ve never loved the combination more.

  “Fuck, Ali,” I whisper, only pulling away long enough to mutter those two small words.

  He wraps his arms around me, leaving no space between us as he molds his body against mine.

  The kiss lasts a long time, but when we finally separate, I only want to attach myself to him again.

  Ali touches his bottom lip as he looks at me with a lustful gaze. “That was. . .” He exhales loudly. “Wow.”

  I smirk. “Yeah.”

  “So,” he pauses. “You like me?”

  I throw my head back and laugh. “I’ve always liked you.”

  “Yeah, but I mean you really like me.” He waggles his brows.

  “And you like me.”

  “I do.”

  “I knew it.”

  Ali laughs. “When did you realize?”

  “That I liked you?”

  He shakes his head. “That you were gay.”

  “Probably around the time we became friends.”

  A cocky grin stretches across his face. “Oh really?”

  “Don’t let your head get too big,” I say, dropping to the bed and stretching out. “I had sort of figured I might be, but it was spending time with you that really made it clear. And you?”

  “I was around twelve.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. I haven’t told anyone but you.”

  “I won’t say anything.”

  “I know.”

  “So, we should probably keep this a secret, huh?”

  Ali sits on the edge of my bed, his eyes roaming my body. “Yeah, probably. At least for a little while. I don’t know how to tell my family.”

  “We can wait until we’re eighteen.”

  “And moved out?”

  I laugh. “Sure.”

  “Okay. Deal.”

  I sit up and throw him a coy grin. “Wanna kiss me?”

  Ali smiles wide. “Definitely.”

  7

  Alejandro

  Present Day

  “The last day of the school year,” Coach Dolittle says, clapping me on the back as we walk to our cars. “What’re you gonna do? Vacation?”

  “Not really,” I reply, pulling my keys out of my pocket. “I’ll probably spend a lot of time back home with my mom and sister. Liliana had a baby a few months ago, so I guess I should be a good uncle and get to know my niece.”

  “Well, have fun with that. I’ll be going to Vegas next month. I’ll get you a souvenir. What do you want? Shot glass? Keychain?”

  I laugh. “You don’t have to get me anything.”

  “I’ll send you a postcard.”

  “Whatever, man.”

  Pete Dolittle chuckles. “See ya around.”

  I shake my head and unlock my car. Tonight I’ll put a bag together and then head to Gaspar tomorrow. I haven’t seen my mom or sister in a month, and I only went back because my sister gave birth to my niece.

  It’s only a coincidence that the school year ended at the same time The Unwanted’s overseas tour came to an end. I’m not going back to Gaspar because Merrick will be there. I’d rather not have another run-in with him, because it only ends in heartbreak.

  I think back to when we were twenty, and I was dating Shae. Merrick had already pulled me into an alley and set my body on fire, but I was in a relationship and di
dn’t want to step back in the closet just to be with him.

  It killed me when he told me I was breaking his heart because I was the only person he had ever been with. Merrick’s always been an important part of my life. I cared for him so much, and loved our times together. Nothing was ever enough back when we were teens. We could spend a week together, twenty-four-seven, and the minute I had to walk away, I missed him.

  If Merrick needed me, I was there. If he invited me out, I dropped my plans and went with him. And he did the same for me. We were inseparable, and I loved him.

  People always seem to downplay love and emotions when you’re young. Like it can’t possibly be real if you’re a teen, because teenagers aren’t supposed to know what real love feels like. But what I felt for Merrick wasn’t just puppy love. It wasn’t just lust, either. I know, without a doubt, that I loved him with all my heart. That’s why it hurt so much when he lied to me. Not just once either, but over and over.

  As I’m driving home, my sister calls. I hit the answer button and her voice comes over the speakers in my car.

  “Mami wants to know when you’re gonna be here.”

  “Hello to you, too. Yeah, I’m fine. How are you?”

  Liliana laughs. “I like to get straight to the point. Hi, big brother. How are you doing this wonderful, warm evening? Are you okay? Is life going well? I only want the best for you,” she croons.

  “Ugh. I prefer straight to the point.”

  “Exactly. So, shut up. When you coming home?”

  “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

  “Mami! He said tomorrow!”

  “Can you not yell directly into the phone?”

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “How’s my baby niece?”

  “She’s kind of a diva. She cries when she doesn’t get what she wants. She also doesn’t really know what she wants. And she expects me to cater to her. Can you believe that?” she jokes.

  I laugh. “Wow, sounds just like you.”

  “Shut up,” she says with a laugh. “But kidding aside, she’s perfect and amazing and beautiful. Also, like me.”

  “Anyway.”